(Source: lizclimo)
This, my dear followers, is a picture of my wasted/sleepwalking/whatever-the-fuck-caused-him-to-do-this friend not comprehending the fact that he is urinating on the kitchen table is generally not an accepted thing.
I’m sorry, but I’ve itching to give an epic account of it since:
About 6am yesterday, dear Jamie here passed out on the sofa, as you do after a long night of revelling and copious amounts of alcohol.
As he was the only one foolish enough to do, much abuse was levied upon him.
This included much graffiti and in the end, which ultimately woke him up (if what happened next can be considered so) pasta placed into many facial orifices.
Once ‘awoken’ by this, he immediately proclaimed “I need the toilet”, and shambled into the kitchen, followed only by me.What happened next, I am still trying to comprehend.
Headed towards the sink, and considering his current state, I thought his intentions were whilst a bit inconvenient, understandable. However, the sink’s fate was that of a mere prop, while he much to my dismay, unceremoniously flopped out his wang, disregarding my presence about 2 meters away. Disgusted and protesting, I turned away, expecting to turn back in a few moments and see him relieving himself into the sink. I was wrong.
The next few seconds, were those of shock and awe to me, as dear Jamie here, cock at the ready, advanced upon the host’s poor, unsuspecting table.
“No, he wouldn’t…” ran through my head, the very split second before a golden arc of urine spouted, straight onto the table.The amount I would pay, to hear/see myself, turning around and stating “He’s pissing on the table”.
Despite everyone’s protests and “WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?”s, Jamie merely stood there, a baffled look upon his abused face, asking what the problem was. As you can see, this was when this excellent piece of photography was conceived by my friend.
One of the worst things is, the host so happened to be his ex, Khloe, who’s good books he hasn’t graced very often at all, who’s Mum already despises him.
The look on her face was utterly priceless, and she quite literally grabbed the nearest sharp object and went for the offending, and still gushing (despite the about minute duration of this, creating an utter ocean on the tabletop) wang.Afraid on the ensuing wrath, and despite literally fearing his safety considering the hands he was in, I followed the other’s cowardice in getting the fuck outta there before Khloe’s Mum found out, later finding out that we was well justified in doing so, and also Jamie’s chastisement: Much shouting, being forced to clean it up (which I insist on pointing out that when he did so, due to his state not really altering, he attempted to scoop it up with his hands, and place it in an unoffending cardboard box, then running his hands through his hair) and picking a nugget of shit from the host’s cat’s arse.
Nonetheless, this image went pretty viral among our group, and many variations were created yesterday. Here are some of my favourites:
All that’s left to say, is that it was an amazing night… and this came along and just made it unforgettable.
And before any moralfags remind me that this is quite a dick-move, this is the guy that while drunk, in the past has:
- Got it on with a girl, then her little sister in the same night
- Been covered in Mayonnaise
- Had his hair cut off
- Pissed himself… twiceMaybe this will be a lesson eh?
Anybody who isn’t a Whovian is going to be very confused as to why this has so many notes.
QUICK. FIX IT. FIX IT NOW.
WHERE ARE THE DASH STAPLES???
Oh my gawwwd!!!
Dear Santa…..
It’s BACK!
Meanwhile in Ireland
OH MY GOD WHERE AND WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN AND WHY DIDNT I HEAR ABOUT IT FUCK ASOHEJLKFSD
This is a horse who is hot-to-trot!
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oh god, why?
(Source: p-o-o)
Humble Bundle for Android 2 Giveaway!
And the winners have been chosen for the Humble Bundle for Android 2 Giveaway!
I will be contacting each winner through their Tumblr Ask Box.
Many thanks to VGN!! They run a fantastic blog that you all should follow.
